tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48467452666232809882024-02-20T12:38:16.691-05:00And knowing is half the babble.(aka VoxInSox, by Craig "Voiceroy" Crumpton)Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-42262583037412607592012-02-10T03:42:00.000-05:002012-08-22T23:31:35.009-04:00Review: American Buffalo
VHS cover image courtesy amazon.com
American Buffalo (1996) ** out of 5 asterisks
Director: Michael Corrente
Starring: Dennis Franz, Dustin Hoffman, Sean Nelson
The tagline for this movie is "They had a plan. It wasn't worth a nickel."
Sadly, I didn't think this movie was even worth a nickel. It's a very slow, dialog-heavy drama that takes forever to lead anywhere, and the ending itCraig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-63650071516718935552012-01-30T19:22:00.003-05:002012-01-30T19:38:23.931-05:00Aspiring Actors Are Not Actors
I personally hate the term "aspiring actor." You can be a "beginner," but "aspiring"? No. Either you're an actor or you aren't. My definition of "aspiring actor" is someone with no acting experience who wishes they could be an actor -- that they have hopes and dreams of one day becoming an actor.
If you aspire to be an actor, do something about it: take classes and audition for community Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-25772543725152414242011-12-21T16:58:00.002-05:002011-12-21T17:00:11.138-05:00Shop SmartNo sign of Ash inside, unfortunately.The manager said he'd been fired for making out
with a Deadite in the stockroom.
Apologies to any who haven't seen Army of Darkness and won't get the joke.And this is actually no joke -- it's a real gas station in Lexington, SC.Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-50804741485289392352011-10-17T06:05:00.010-04:002011-10-20T14:12:49.827-04:00Zombify Yourself!
My name is Bond...
Zombie Bond.
So you want to play undead but you're not sure how to go about it? Well, I can help you look like a zombie without the hassle of dying and coming back from the dead.
First off, I am not an expert, and this is merely a guide to create a basic zombie-like look. As a beginner, you will fail attempting to recreate what you've seen on The Walking Dead or pretty muchCraig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-14374694813174503542011-03-07T03:06:00.000-05:002011-03-07T03:06:06.990-05:00Safety FirstAnother entry in my T-Shirt Design Travesties series:
Now, at first glance there's nothing unusual about this one....until you notice the ambulance driver.
Your safety at the Tammany Fair is guaranteed,thanks to the pelicans driving our ambulances.
* Shirt photographed March 2010 by Craig Crumpton at a thrift store in Norcross, GA.Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-5153851661693172922011-02-03T16:49:00.010-05:002011-04-15T02:30:02.636-04:00A Life Less Extra-OrdinaryRiddle me this...
Question: Name a job where you can work for 8 hours but never actually do any work?
Okay, besides being a politician, cable installer, or construction worker.
Answer: Background extra.
Twice in the last two months I've worked 8-hour days on TV/film shoots but just sat in extras holding the whole time, never to be called to set.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not complaining. WhoCraig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-57594127953165358112010-12-17T07:56:00.006-05:002010-12-18T16:03:42.956-05:00Animaniacs Merchandise, Part 2As promised, here's a follow-up to my previous post showcasing another 5 items from my Animaniacs/Pinky & The Brain merchandise collection:
Item #1 is my most recent addition:
an official Six Flags Wakko Warner ball cap, circa 1997.Paid $1.71 for it at a thrift store in Winder, GA:
And since I found the Six Flags Pinky hat in October, of course you realize what this means... Now I'll have Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-40031514481176408862010-12-14T03:06:00.002-05:002010-12-14T03:07:18.210-05:00Destroy All Hogwarts!Deleted scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- "Craigzilla attacks Hogwarts":
And here's another deleted scene featuring
my special wand-lighting ability fingerwhich I stole from E.T.:
* Photos from a September 2010 visit to the Universal Studios Store at the Orlando Airport.Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-1618399443822210782010-12-09T00:30:00.003-05:002010-12-11T03:55:54.881-05:00Review: The Cable GuyThe Cable Guy (1996) **1/2
Director: Ben Stiller (Tropic Thunder, Zoolander, Reality Bites)
Starring: Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick
I was disappointed by this movie, but to be fair I went expecting to see Jim Carrey's over-the-top comedy shtick that made him famous in Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura. And if that's what you're expecting too, you'll be sorely disappointed. This is a Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-29930310278717614862010-12-07T00:30:00.004-05:002010-12-08T01:40:15.862-05:00Review: Open WaterOpen Water (2003) ****
Director/Writer: Chris Kentis (Grind, and another feature in post-prod scheduled for a 2011 release)
Starring: Blanchard Ryan, Daniel Travis
Surprisingly entertaining indie thriller. Although we're not given much reason to care about the characters before they are accidentally abandoned in the ocean, this film offers a palpable sense of despair, hopelessness and fear the Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-87172376579256210722010-12-05T00:30:00.001-05:002010-12-05T00:30:00.156-05:00Review: Into The WildInto The Wild (2007) ***1/2 out of 5 asterisks
Director: Sean Penn (The Pledge, The Crossing Guard)
Starring: Emile Hirsch, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt, Hal Holbrook
This twice Oscar-nominated indie film is a slow but interesting true-life adventure-drama with great performances. And I would rate it higher if it weren't for excess: excessive scenic footage, excessive use of slo-mo, and Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-57863720097546494892010-12-03T00:30:00.001-05:002010-12-03T00:30:01.207-05:00Review: Flight of FuryFlight of Fury (2007) ...can't even give this one a half-asterisk
Director: Michael Keusch (responsible for a lot of German TV movies I don't recognize and can't spell)
Starring: Steven Seagal (also credited with screenplay, which explains a LOT)
While watching attempting to tolerate this film, I had a sneaking suspicion that Seagal left all the work to his stunt and photo doubles. And I'd be Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-14677627159004504382010-12-02T19:36:00.004-05:002010-12-02T20:03:40.358-05:00War is not funnyAnother entry for T-Shirt Design Travesties:
Even Dick Cheney did not approve of this message.
A little history behind this: Back in 2006 when I was managing a religious bookstore, I discovered about a dozen of these shirts in a vendor shipment of random deep discount apparel. When I called the corporate office about it, they explained it was part of a huge bulk clearance deal on Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-31093643133826186892010-12-01T00:30:00.003-05:002010-12-02T05:16:10.349-05:00Review: Last Action HeroLast Action Hero (1993) ***
Director: John McTiernan (Predator, Die Hard, The Hunt for Red October)
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, F. Murray Abraham, Austin O'Brien
Every now and then a movie comes along that critics love to hate, comedians love to make fun of, and then everyone else jumps on the bandwagon -- most of them never even having seen the movie and yet they still criticize and mock Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-84080389119776118672010-11-30T00:30:00.004-05:002010-11-30T07:33:52.149-05:00Review: Welcome to MooseportWelcome to Mooseport (2004) ** out of 5 asterisks
Director: Donald Petrie (Grumpy Old Men, Miss Congeniality)
Starring: Ray Romano, Gene Hackman, Maura Tierney
I really wanted to like this movie. It had some good things going for it, like having a comedy-savvy director and a cast known for comedic roles. But either something went wrong during production or maybe it was just a bad script to beginCraig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-83385237453517989892010-11-29T19:32:00.001-05:002010-11-30T07:32:55.636-05:00Netflix Is a Naughty WordHere's a fun little exercise for you Netflix subscribers out there -- a guaranteed laugh, and I believe I am the first person on the web to discover this:
Step 1. Login to your Netflix account.
2. Click "Movies You'll Love."
3. Click "Your Reviews."
4. Next to your profile image where it says "Enter a brief bio here" click "Edit."
5. Type "Netflix."
6. Click the "Save" button and discover Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-79548048931754143102010-11-29T06:50:00.006-05:002010-12-01T14:20:23.037-05:00Review: Beast Machines - Transformers: The Complete SeriesThe new series Transformers Prime officially premiered on The Hub (formerly Discovery Kids) in November 2010, and advance hype for the series used such buzzwords as "groundbreaking," "cutting edge," and "epic." Hasbro also described the show as an "intense... drama" with "heavy metal action" and "nail-biting suspense." Time will tell whether the series genuinely delivers such a big bag of Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-25194549525698448452010-11-07T00:30:00.006-04:002010-11-08T13:27:52.268-05:00Review: It Runs In The FamilyIt Runs In The Family (2003) ***1/2 out of 5 asterisks
Director: Fred Schepisi (I.Q., Roxanne)
Starring: Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas
There's not much "plot" to this movie and it moves along at a snail's pace; however, it's a nice slice-of-life drama about how a family copes with tragedy and does so in a realistic, familiar way. It also has three generations of the Douglas family in it -- KirkCraig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-236043261679109452010-11-05T00:30:00.001-04:002010-11-05T00:30:01.120-04:00Review: Stir of Echoes: The HomecomingStir of Echoes: The Homecoming (2007) * out of 5 asterisks
Director/Writer: Ernie Barbarash (his other directorial credits aren't worth mentioning)
Starring: Rob Lowe (and some fairly unknown supporting cast not worth mentioning)
Bleah. Yuck, even. This follow-up to the 1999 horror/thriller starring Kevin Bacon is a waste of film. Even the "star power" of Rob Lowe can't redeem this low-budget, Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-46724327615435897392010-11-04T01:56:00.001-04:002010-11-04T01:57:19.812-04:00To the moon, Alice... Another entry in my T-Shirt Design Travesties series,only this one isn't so much a "travesty"as it is unintentionally amusing:
Surprisingly, only a few parents were reluctant to send their kids to outer space for the class field trip.
Shirt photographed Jan. 2010 at a thrift store in Duluth, GA.Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-48938459409291830182010-10-31T02:21:00.004-04:002011-05-16T03:38:02.674-04:00Play That Zombie Music, White BoyTitle preview of one of the songs I'm releasingon a future musical comedy album:
Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-27295404535928431412010-10-31T01:04:00.003-04:002010-10-31T01:08:50.297-04:00Happy Pauladeen!
Photo credit Getty Images/slashfood.com
Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-7232708321834746872010-10-31T00:30:00.003-04:002010-10-31T03:58:43.961-04:00Review: Arsenic and Old LaceArsenic and Old Lace (1944) **** out of 5 asterisks
Director: Frank Capra (It's A Wonderful Life, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)
Cast: Cary Grant, Raymond Massey, Peter Lorre
This Frank Capra classic is a marvelous semi-dark comedy with marvelous performances and it's marvelously entertaining. (It's also fitting that I publish this review on Halloween because it's a childhood favorite and Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-3603881575287266302010-10-30T00:30:00.005-04:002010-11-30T07:45:02.326-05:00Review: The Elephant ManThe Elephant Man (1980) ****
Director: David Lynch (Twin Peaks, Dune, Mullholland Dr.)
Cast: Anthony Hopkins, John Hurt, Anne Bancroft, John Gielgud
All the awards and accolades this film has received are well-deserved. It's not quite a perfect film, but it's perfectly cast, performed, and directed. While I'm not a fan of David Lynch's work, I believe this is his best film, and John Hurt's Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4846745266623280988.post-42392090920858093102010-10-29T00:30:00.004-04:002010-10-29T03:20:59.883-04:00Review: FidoFido (2006) **** out of 5 asterisks
Director: Andrew Currie (who also co-wrote the screenplay)
Cast: Billy Connelly, Carrie Anne-Moss, Dylan Baker, Kesun Loder, Tim Blake Nelson
What if you could keep a zombie as a family pet? Wouldn't that be fun? And wouldn't that make for a fun movie too? Yes, it would! Fido is a genre mash-up of horror/drama/romance/comedy, and with a PG-13 rating is about Craig "Voiceroy" Crumptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07717960158274041112noreply@blogger.com0