With Friends Like These...

While sorting backlogged friend requests on Facebook, one I tried to accept actually rejected me. Facebook told me that the person "has too many friends." I didn't even know that was possible!

I was subsequently surprised to learn that Facebook allows a maximum of 5,000 friends for any individual.

When I mentioned this in my status post, friend comments came pouring in: 

You can never have too many friends.

Having too many friends is better than none at all.

Facebook has definitely redefined the meaning of the word "friends." 

I have 95% "acquaintances." True friends are few!

The last two statements caused me to speculate on what it would look like if Facebook allowed us to categorize our friends...

__X__ has 3 TrueFriends
15 RelativesWhoMayOrMayNotBeFriends
2 MoochingFriends
5 FormerFriendsWhoStillOweHimMoney
6 FormerTeacherFriendsWhoActuallyWeren'tKnownForBeingFriendly
11 ChildhoodFriendsWhoHeBarelyRemembers
3 CollegeFriendsWhoHeMayOrMayNotHaveDated
7 CollegeFriendsWhoAreFormerRoommates
9 CollegeFriendsWhoCouldn'tRememberHisNameAtCollege
28 MutualFriendsOfFriendsOfFriends
85 RandomAcquaintencesJustifyingTheirExistenceByNumberOfFriends
282 InternetFriendsWhoOnlyKnowHimByHisAvatarOrNickname

DISCLAIMER: Actual numbers chosen at random.This is an attempt at humor. And if you are a friend of Craig's on Facebook please don't assume that you in particular would fall into any of his Facebook Friends Categories.